Jonez143's Blog

Interesting Marriage Statistics!

jonez143 — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 15:27:38 +0000

I was doing some research and came across a web page with some interesting stats on marriage. I have listed the link below along with some of my opinions on certain facts.

www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS.shtml

The State of our Unions 2005 issued by Rutgers University stated that slightly over 60%of American children are raised with both biological parents. Out of all of the countries in the Western hemisphere, the US ranks the lowest of all with nuclear families that stay together.

Americans tend to marry more between the months of June and October. My guess is that this is partially due to women wanting summer/fall weddings which make for prettier backgrounds, better honeymoons as far as location pics and seeing movies, etc. where brides are more often than not depicted as summer brides. The weather is nicer and not extreme, pictures can be taken comfortably outdoors, receptions can be held outdoors, etc. The lowest average number of marriages occurred in January. I would assume that no one wants to get married in the cold! Right after the holidays when people will be limited to contribute to purchasing gifts for the new couple and the day’s events will be hampered with having to deal with the chilly weather. Coats and jackets will not look pretty in pictures at a wedding!

The states with the highest rates of divorce were Nevada and Arkansas. Nevada, I am assuming because of the insane number of marriage chapels that litter cities such as Las Vegas where gambling brings revenue for the city. Normally, where there is gambling there will typically be drinking, which alters mind states or suppresses inhibitions, which may contribute to quick spur of the moment marriages. When the liquor wears off, so does the thrill of the marriage! I am not sure why Arkansas ranked number 2?? The states with the lowest rates of divorce were the District of Columbia, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania.

Things that make you go hmmmmm……

Probing Deeper: Getting Married Too Young “Cons”

jonez143 — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 15:07:29 +0000

One of the main issues that I see with people getting married too young happens with neither person has a specific plan of how to make it through life as individuals, let alone as a couple. Two confused people throwing caution to the wind can be disastrous. Especially now with the economy being in turmoil, planning a financial future involving 2 people who cannot adequately support themselves are not made any better. I have seen more often than not that when young people get married too early that normally one gives up their dream of pursuing higher education so that their spouse can get their education first in hopes of bettering the young family’s financial situation. Eventually, the spouse who works and or stays at home may possibly get his/her turn at furthering education but that is not common and resentment rises and the perceived inequality in the marriage.

I doubt that they consider how difficult it is to join ideas of what they would like to do now versus what they would like to accomplish in the long run with planning 2 different careers simultaneously. This is tough even with couples with similar goals. The notion of “team-work” adds extra pressure because how does one choose which member of the team will make the sacrifice their wants and desires for the sake of the “team”.

Another con in my opinion would be the young people who get married often seem to leave one household w/designated authority figures only to move into another household that will also have (in most cases) an “authoritative” figure. Nobody knows how much changing can happen when transitioning from the teenage years to adulthood. The amount of change can alter the course of the marriage. The person has not been able to experience living and making decisions on their own and it can be tough when trying to grow up and having to maintain the quality of a marriage. There is nothing like living on your own and depending on yourself….those who get married early tend to miss out on this important experience.

It would be beneficial for those who want to marry young to have counseling about the “cons” of getting married with a special focus on what they have to potentially give up, particularly growing up with the ability to exercise your own thoughts and ideas and attaining many of your personal life goals.

Once again, I am so glad that I did not go through with getting married @ age 20!!!

Old Enough to Marry?

jonez143 — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:14:25 +0000

I have often wondered why teens and the 20-something crowd are in a hurry to get married and start families. By 20-something crowds I am referring to those who are in their “early 20′s”. I was one of those who became engaged at an early age (age 19) and had planned to wed my then boyfriend of 4-years. We would have been married by age 20 (our birthdays were 10 days apart). In retrospect, since it did not work out, much to my advantage, I have often asked myself: “What was the hurry? What was I trying to accomplish by marrying at such a young age?”

This year would have marked my 11th wedding anniversary. My now ex-fiance has been married 10 years to another woman and they are miserable! Looking back at my 20′s (I am now in my early 30′s), I realize that I wasn’t nearly old enough to marry. Not in years, but in wisdom. Many of my friends from middle/high school got married and started families. Some are still married…but many alarmingly have started to realize that they took ”The Big Step” too hastily and for the wrong reasons. They want lives/independence back that they forfeited when they said, “I do”. They now have children that they have struggled with raising. They have literally grown up with their children, while they and their spouses have grown apart. So what do you do? Stay married because of a dream that was not ready to be brought to life and tough it out because of fear of failure…or scrap the whole idea and deal with the consequences?

Marriage is not a cure-all. Marriage is not the ultimate step into “adulthood”. Marriage is not what one has to do when children are involved. Marriage does not “correct” situations nor should it be used as an instrument of change. I was once told by a good friend that when men marry the thought is similar to buying a used car….you buy it “As Is” in most instances. Men tend not to look at marriage as something that will change the woman; they accept the woman as she is. Women tend to look at marriage as an instrument to “change” a man. They see men for what they “could be”, not for who they are now.

Looking back in time, I can say that I was not old enough to marry because I did not understand the meaning of marriage. There is a big difference in planning a wedding and preparing to buckle down to carry out the vows of marriage. Hindsight is 20-20!

Hello world!

jonez143 — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:46:39 +0000

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